29 February 2008

Champions League excursion

The sky has rained Champions League tickets at the historic San Siro Stadium onto the lap of my friend Shane. He has, in turn, offered to share a little bit of that sweet precipitation with me. It may be only 24 hours in Milano, but that time will be shared with Liverpool, and Inter Milan, two professional football clubs I don't love very much, but that can play the beautiful game quite well.

Plus, I get to party with the Dempseys.


28 February 2008


Despite the fact that both AS Roma and the Vancouver Canucks lost last night, I'm in good spirits. And not because Roma's loss was technically a draw, no in fact it scuppers scudetto hopes as effectively as a loss. And no, not because Vancouvers loss was in a shoot-out, so they also gained a point. (NB. Why the fuck don't the Canucks practice the shit out of the shootout? Surely somebody on the team should be able to put the puck in the net with nobody between them and the goal but the goalie. And if not, well then why don't they learn how to do that? Because they keep dropping points due to their inability to put a puck in the net during 60 minutes, and then also fail to do so during the shootout.)

Nope, there's games afoot here regardless of my vicarious living through my love-hate relationship with my beloved/behated professional sports franchises.

Music is being made, internet is being tested for its ability to support multi-pronged leveraging attempts at market domination, art is being creovated, trips are being planned, event outfits have been purchased, homes are being examined for their suitability to become flagship properties of the Millacioli/Maxcap Empire, auditions are underway, plays will be published, promotional materials drawn up and disseminated.

The above long list is not exhaustive.

These are exciting times, and not 'interesting' like the Chinese curse, but exciting, as in 2008 is shaping up to be a big one. Power Forces making Power Moves.

You may now go back to work.


25 February 2008

Hillary is Mom Jeans

Last week I posted a link to single-serve site Barack Obama is your new bicycle. It's already been outdone; now there's another hipper and funnier site Hillary is mom jeans. Best thing is, you can add your own subtle (or unsubtle) digs at Hillary.

Or, if you prefer, you can feverishly add in more positive comments about your candidate. And you should hurry because right now they're "Hillary wants you to add the zombies application" and "Hillary hogs the armrest on the plane." Strangely engrossing and accurate. Like Wikipedia.

But, as we already know, if you support Hillary (and especially if you're part of her campaign team) you don't really give a hoot what the internet says.


22 February 2008

Up in your jeans

Levi's has their new Spring Summer 2008 catalogue online. It's full of nice jeans and 'lifestyle wear'.

And the copy was written by me. Check it out. Here's some samples:

Girls high waist hotpants

Guys striped crewneck

Girls pointelle tank

Girls long perfecto jacket

Guys seasonal skinny jeans

Guys jacquard cardigan

Guys batiky tee

Guys Sect colab tee

Up until I saw them online I had convinced myself that the descriptions were also mind-blowingly hilarious. But after looking through them online I realized, in fact, they're actually just mind-blowingly cutting edge and fresh. And sparkling with wit and sparkles. Go on and hire me.


Hard work and dull play

What's up internet?

This is post #601 of roads to rome. I've been doing this for years, according to my Gregorian calendar. In 'internet/youtube' years that means I'm basically a blograndfather (blogfather).

Fortunately, this kind of longevity means I'm about ready to cash in big-time. Naturally.

I mean the internet rewards hardwork, merit, and perserverance. With fame and riches. Right? Right?

I think the following clip will illustrate my point nicely. I'd like to thank Human Giant for saying with moving pictures what would take me thousands of words. And as we all know, an internattention span isn't that long.


19 February 2008

26 hours in Amsterdam

I arrived Friday at about 17:15, and was on the train back to Brussels Saturday at 18:56. But that brief amount of time was enough to:

  • get off the train

  • cruise over to the Lindengracht studio

  • record vocals for 5 rap songs

  • eat a MAOZ falafel (with humous) with repeated trips to the salad bar

  • bike tour the city with its' newest, freshest resident

  • fix the busted-the-fuck-up bike used for said tour

  • perform in an improv show at Boom Chicago

  • swap couplets with Rob for an abbreviated verse of 'Yo!' in aforementioned Heineken Late Night show

  • stay out wicked late drinking and chatting at said establishment

  • Send an sms to Chiara

  • gobble down two (2) lekker FEBO kipburgers before hopping back on bikes and heading for home

  • sleep for one quarter of total time in city

  • get up before 10am to go market shopping for fresh ingredients for a Commonwealth breakfast of eggs and potatoes

  • watch a few episodes of You sjuck at Photoshop

  • check artwork for upcoming media empire website

  • re-record reworked lyrics

  • kick it with beatbox and improv wizard Rob from Boom to kick the album into 'freshzone' territory

  • plan album art

  • get sandwiches

  • get on train

Not bad use of time huh?

And I didn't even mention that I got to throw out at least 5 "Superdoeis!*" (my new favorite Dutch word).

Pronounced "Superdooey!" defn: Goodbyeee!


18 February 2008

Barack is your new bike

Without getting into any explanation or political opining, I just wanted to pass this on to you:
Barack Obama is your new bicycle. Count the ways...


17 February 2008


The mighty Shortcut Kid made a sweet little teaser video based on some of our prodigious output from the weekend. It was an amassing of component parts that still need to be put together, but if he puts it together anything like he put together this dope little trailer, it should be SO FUCKING AMAZING YOU WILL WEEP TEARS OF BLOODY JOY!

Can you say 'hard as fuck?'


13 February 2008

Rap it up, toss it overboard

That title is me embedding verb and noun into a title masquerading as something else. And I bet you liked it. Check the titling technique and ask your science teacher if you don't get it.

What the fuck am I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm going to Amsterdam this weekend to try and lay down some honest, hard-as-fuck, instrospective, compelling rhymes over some smooth and sexy hard-as-fuck instrumentation that will then be put all together to make an album. Which will be hard-as-fuck.

Or an e.p. at least.

The project is called 'overboard'.

And i'm a rapper. Ryman Illa

Working with Shortcut Kid AKA The Australian Alps AKA Cropduster, and Creaseless Ben AKA Creaseless Ben on a project that has been simmering for a while.

It's been fun to get back on the rap horse and craft some rhymes and stuff them into a song format. we'll see how it goes.



11 February 2008

Puking Rainbows

Q: What's better than a rainbow?
A: A rainbow that pukes rainbows!


08 February 2008

Cat in the office

Sometimes people just get it so right.

Brilliant and hilarious lolsecretz, combined lolcatz grammar and photoz with postsecrets confessions.

What, pray tell, is not to love about that?

Unfortunately it's all in past tense because they've no doubt gone on to smarter, funnier and more useless things.

Anyway, this cat is me today. Not that I wear a tie to work, but he speakz to me anyway. That's what's cool about Friday. I'm out.


01 February 2008

Job Interview

It is sometimes suggested that the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Agreed. After moving to Brussels sans travaille I spent two months keeping one eye on the want ads and the other on my dwindling bank balance. It is not something I'd like to repeat anytime soon.

I thought I'd be looking for a new job come this spring. My current employment status was 'one year contract as a substitute for a woman on maternity leave'. Mid-December this woman announced she would be coming back sooner than expected. It wasn't ideal, but in some ways that was fine for me. It had to be. I immediately started looking for another job.

Skipping over the convoluted minutiae of the story we arrive at the interesting position I was in last week: two days on from signing a one-year contract extension (with small raise) with my current employers I found myself in a job interview with another organization.

Emboldened by both a fresh new contract and the other organizations interest in me I was able to go to that job interview and be very relaxed; I told them all the stuff I wanted them to know:

Have I organized events?

"Hell yeah! Back when I ran for City Council in Vancouver with the Dance Party Party we threw fantastic Dance Party Party Parties! All the details were handled internally."

What's a project you're proud of?

"I had a summer job as a professional rapper at the Vancouver Art Gallery, rapping about the socio-political climate between world wars that led to the rise of the Nazi Party. Many patrons remarked that they found it a useful entry point into the challenging artwork on display."

"It says here you have leadership experience, such as...?"

"Well, last two weekends I ran improvisational theatre workshops for a group of 12 people, taking them from raw rookies up through their first performance. I orchestrated the whole four days, from planning through execution."

I wasn't flippant, or deliberately trying to be contrarian or controversial, or even to 'stand out' from the other candidates. I just wanted them to know who I was and where I was coming from. What they could expect if they hired me.

It was about three quarters of the way through the hour long interview that the Human Resources Manager interrupted, not to ask a question, but to take a time-out on the interview. She wanted to articulate her position; she couldn't figure me out.

"I wrote stuff down when you first got in here, that I've since crossed out. I got one impression from your CV, this picture you included is a little unusual...but in person you come off differently... It's... I don't know. I'm usually pretty good at figuring people out..." She told me to take it as a compliment.

Needless to say, they didn't offer me the job. But it was fun, and I like to think they seriously considered me, before ultimately selecting a 'safer' candidate. I don't mind being the exception; how do you think I got those unusual work experiences in the first place?