30 September 2008

SFW porn

A big problem with internet porn is, of course, that you can't watch it at work. This has spawned some hilariously untitillating revisions and edits. Diesel jeans has taken the ball and ran with it, to celebrate their upcoming birthday. At least I think that's what they're doing.
Via Something Awful.



Banned Books Week!

Happy Banned Books Week! Apparently this means celebrating the freedom to read, not celebrating making a big bonfire out of science textbooks. Some info and links on the festivities.

Here's an excellent quote from Philip Pullman. From a Boing Boing article. Pullman writes books. Fiction books like the amazing 'His Dark Materials' series. He knows something firsthand about being on the receiving end of book banning efforts.

"My basic objection to religion is not that it isn't true; I like plenty of things that aren't true. It's that religion grants its adherents malign, intoxicating and morally corrosive sensations. Destroying intellectual freedom is always evil, but only religion makes doing evil feel quite so good. "


26 September 2008

Sarah Palin interview confirms my credentials

CBS anchor Katie Couric talked to American VP hopeful Sarah Palin. It was, in a word, inspiring. Link (Note: This video doesn't seem to be available from CBS anymore. But it exists. Go ask youtube.) Punditry here.

Here's a partial transcript:

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know?
COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of.

Imagine: I live in Brussels, in tiny Belgium. Between France, The Netherlands, Germany, and just a tiny maritime strip of watery water from The United Kingdom. That's where London is.

Imagine how smart that makes me! Just by geographic proximity. Not to mention that my office is close to the European Parliament, Commission, and Council. So I am pretty fucking well-versed in European legislative procedure.

It's true I've never negotiated with any of those nations or institutions, but some pretty important people drive down the street near my office to go to meetings or whatever. So I think I'm pretty qualified to hold an influential position in Europe.

Elect this lady. Then we can all live in her fantasy world.

Seriously: terrified yet?


25 September 2008


A multitude of adjectives to enrich the nouns. Whip ornate vocab and hyperbole in the blender of your mind's eye. Outpour the rich creamy 'copy', and slather onto product. Do not overkill. Slather judiciously. Discretion is the better part of copy. These products may be so fresh you yourself covet it like freshly baked bread, or your neighbor's wife. Others may be so frankly embarassing you hope it fails, for fashion's own sake. And some may be so plain you don't know what to say. None of this is important; treat all with an unwavering eye. Like a frickin' laser.

In the end it is more enjoyable than most anything else I could be doing, and still reasonably hope to get paid for. And it's creation. Writing. The craft. I am available for more of this work. Call me.


22 September 2008

Flowers from a ninja


If a ninja offers you flowers, you have a choice - to accept this gift, which may or may not be genuine, or refuse. But don't be stupid, a ninja won't offer you flowers. He'll spinkick your face. That's why I shop Fujiya.


19 September 2008

ABOVE in SC America

Today's Friday, and here's your fresh street art bit.

SouthCentral (PART 3 of 4) from ABOVE on Vimeo.

Ain't nothing 'half-hearted' about that!

This is my first, and hopefully not last, experience with a spraypainted palindrome. Hot!


18 September 2008

Street Art Fresh: Melbourne

This weeks unintentional theme: of rad street art(ists or pieces) continues with a pick and link for Australia's best city* Melbourne.

Check the pics and I think you'll agree: if nothing else, there's some fresh-as-hell street art.

*So I have it on good authority.


17 September 2008

American electorate - WTF?

Thanks Filip, for forwarding me this email, in which the only possible response is "Yeah! WTF? Srsly."

Followed by shoulder shaking sobs.

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this

* If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

*If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Bristol, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor,
spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you teach teach children about sexual predators, you are irresponsible and eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up
pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to
raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that hates America and advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.


Carbon-cutting in one easy step

According to the New Scientist (13 September, 2008) "A bowl of cereal has the same carbon footprint as a 7km journey in a 4x4. A steak is the equivalent to driving 30km." That's a blow to granola-eating public-transit users, for sure.

This is when you take into account not just 'food miles', but food production impact from 'farm to fork'. In fact, even buying local can have a marginal impact when production methods are all factored in.

There's no easy solution (is there ever?), but there is an easy thing you can do to be less of a big fat stupid planet hog:

eat vegetarian (or even chicken or fish) a couple times a week.

"For the average American, buying local every day of the year would cut their carbon footprint by only around 4% or 400 kg of 'equivalent C02 emissions' (C02eq) per year. By comparison, shifting just one day a week from eating red meat and dairy to either chicken, fish, eggs or vegetables lowers your emissions by between 252kg and 400kg of C02eq." (Italics mine)
So why don't you go ahead and do that? In fact, spread your wings a little bit and try one or two of these 20 vegan meals that don't suck.

From one good choice, many more can follow. Start now.


16 September 2008

McCain in a bad light

Tell it like it is buddy.

Raging liberal photographer Jill Greenberg took a series of photos for the cover of the Atlantic Monthly. She cast some harsh light on him, then doctored some of the photo set and put them on her website. The full set is here.

I like these photos. They're funny, and cut at the heart of things. Ballsy work, Greenberg.

It won't help.

Unfortunately, those sneaky republicans are too good at slandering their opponents while simultaneously making any portrayal of them in negative light look like a 'liberal media bias'. This resonates with 'everyday, lipstick-wearing, moosehunting, Americans.'



Fresh Art - Alex Young

Spraypaint on Canvas.

His spraypainted drip portraits are all awesomeness, and there's plenty of other eyecandy at his site. Brain of Alex Young. Thanks, FecalFace


15 September 2008

Hot Street Art - Bristol

I've got alot of love for this giant stencil girl crowded in a Bristol doorway. Nice one, DAN. It's basically perfect on all fronts: concept, location, execution.

Link (to Wooster)


12 September 2008

Kodiak - Online!

The wonderful and delightful short film 'Kodiak' is part of the Portable Online Film Festival. Watch it, love it, and vote for it.
In the interests of full disclosure: my friend Allen Morrison wrote it, my friend Andrew Macleod directed it, and there are many other people who I think are extremely rad who worked on bringing this story to life - actors, sound designers, cinematographers, goalies, and referees. They took an awesome, threw down a little awesome of their own, and the result? Game on!



11 September 2008

Italians hate il weekend

Gli Italiani non si piacciono le parole inglese. Basta!

Why say 'le weekend' when 'la fine settimana' expresses the exact same thing?
Amico mio, that question is a difficult one. But after getting so many (mostly food-related) words from Italian, it's only fair that we right this linguistic trade deficit. Besides I find it humourous to hear an Italian sprinkle heavily-accented English words into conversations. As a bonus, it also makes Italian easier for me to understand.


September 11, 2008

This, and more unfortunate pre-September 11th ads from Oddee

Seven years ago...

Those planes crashing into those two buildings in the Big Apple was a horrific tragedy. That terrible day divided history into two epochs: pre- and post- September 11th. Of course, there are also other epochs, but now the cotton ginny, dinosaurs, and pong all take a back seat to the Mother of all Historical Bookmarks. In this new age, the numbers "9-11" no longer make you immediately think of Flava Flav.
As you would expect, the swift and well-considered cooperative response of the international community effectively wiped out radical terrorism. As a primary result, air travel became both safer, and more comfortable. I for one am grateful for longer, more safer-like, security line-ups, the comforting knowledge that only tiny amounts of perfume can be brought into the airplane cabin, and, most telling: NO fingernail clippers(!) I'm also grateful that t-shirts depicting Transformers are no longer permitted on commercial aircraft. Finally, the knowledge that our global hyperpower is fighting a ceaseless and unwinnable war on multiple fronts also brings some small succour, seven years on.
Where did it all go right?


Book Art

I like books. mostly I like reading them. Although lately I've been ordering from Amazon.co.uk at such a torrid pace that it may take me months to get on top of it all. And then the trip to Waterstone's downtown last Saturday... "Happy shopping Chiara...I'll just be here, um browsing."

It's hard to resist: the real world filtered and explained through the written word. Typography? Home repair? Japanese tattoos? (to use but three recent examples) I don't know anything about these things... BAM! A book arrives. An instructive, shiny book. With pictures. (In fact, I just ordered another book on typography, as I write this. Why? I'm hooked.)

Fiction? Fuck yeah! The Yiddish Policeman's Union, by Michael Chabon. You write good.

Non fiction? Uh huh! Shakespeare, by Bill Bryson. Best teacher ever.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, by Chuck Klosterman? Our time has come.

Graphic Novels? Hit me up! Bone v. 7 Ghost Circles, by Jeff Smith Why yes! I'd love a sweeping epic myth narrative with an extra-big scoop of laugh-out-loud funny.

Watchmen, by Moore and Gibsons. I'm sorry Evil Bastard, I should've listened to you years ago.

I've also got books borrowed, and gifted, all to be digested and absorbed in their time.


While in the bookstore on Saturday, I was struck by how many books there are. (A-fucking-lot!) How many stories, how many authors, how many jacket designs, how many different typesets, publishers, sizes, editions...

It blew my fucking mind apart. Especially for me, in these days. I'm beginning to self-describe as a 'writer', and gradually removing the implied air-quotes and apologetic tone as I do so. A book collection of any size represents both a world of opportunity and aspiration, and a wall of futility.
Books are creativity, they are worlds, they are also moments, words, stories and images. Books are art.

No. Seriously. Forget about the words for a minute.

Books themselves as art. Many artists, many different styles and results, all with the same medium: books. There's a metaphor, or other such literary device in there somewhere... Thanks Weburbanist.

You! reader check them out.


10 September 2008

My eyes on your ass: body parts in music

Where would the songwriter be without body parts to reference?
Without a noun to begin a simile.
Without an appendage/organ to verb.
Without a feminine feature to praise.
Thanks to this handy infographic (and the in-depth underlying study) we can see which body parts are preferred, and how frequently they're cited, in an array of genres. "Ass" is tops in hip-hop, but "eye" is number one in, oh, basically everything else.
Discover for yourself at fleshmap. I was steered there by ugsmag.


05 September 2008

Republican Hypocrisy

Ha ha ha. *Sigh*



03 September 2008

Sarah Palin: the sitcom

Just when you were tiring of the non-stop repetitive US election coverage, that crazy old coot JM picks an attractive, young, running mate who also happens to be an anti-choice, gun-loving, fanatical wingnut. VPILF?


Smells like a sitcom...

The Governatoress (working title)

Elevator pitch: "Major Dad meets WestWing, meets Northern Exposure"

Tough, mooseburger-loving former beauty queen struggles to keep her unruly family functioning as she copes with the demands of being Alaskan Governor.

Season 1: She tackles corruption and tries to open an Alaska Pipeline. Spins folksy wisdom with a heavy dollop of sass to family and foes alike.
High point: Episode in which she tries to get her brother-in-law (a state trooper) fired. Highest rated of the season. Series is picked up for second season.
Low point: The 'pregnancy' subplot. Universally derided as completely unbelievable. The Governatoress star refuses 'baby bump' costuming changes that would simulate a growing human fetus, likewise refusing to wear maternity clothes.
Lowest point: The hour-long finale in which her water breaks in Texas on morning of a big speech. Yet, our plucky heroine still gives a keynote address, flies to Anchorage (via Seattle), before driving 45 minutes to Wasilla to give birth under the care of family doctor (series regular Gerald McRaney). It is widely panned by viewers and critics as the 'jumping-the-shark' moment. Undaunted, plans for season 2 go ahead.

Season 2: Bowing to studio pressure to "really go out on a limb" episode one sees the Governatoress selected to be VP Candidate for a crotchety and forgetful old war veteran. In a blatant ratings stunt, her unwed teenage daughter is found out to be pregnant (episode two). The spike in ratings fails to sustain a wide viewership, and the hackneyed 'fish-out-of-water' storylines quickly grow tiresome.
High point: Daughter's babydaddy shows up to campaign with the Governatoress. His rough-around-the-edges, knuckleheaded antics turn off older viewers, but attract the coveted 'fratboy' demographic.
Low point: (anticipated) The episode in which she is roundly embarassed in the VP debate with her Democratic counterpart, played by Donald Sutherland (October 2nd). Viewers object to their capable star being portrayed as a bumbling neophyte.
Lowest point: Episode eight: The Abortion Clinic. Awful. Just awful.

Season Three: Shelved.


02 September 2008

So much awesome skateboard graphics

Skateboarding has always been the raddest of the rad. Only recently have I been realizing that it's not just the gnarly tricks and bad attitudes, it's also the fresh design art graphics that bring the hotness.

I received "Disposable: A History of Skateboard Art" for my birthday (thanks F+M!)and have been lovingly poring over the images and anecdotes. Now this: scores and scores of 'stunning, creative skateboard graphics.'
Feed your eyes something delicious and nutritous!